Relationships are the best thing in this life. It could be with God, parents, children, husband, wife, friends, cousins and the list is endless. However today , I want to share mine which was an emotional one where all sorts of butterfly feelings interplay and most often demands made.![1447178261905[1] (1)](https://inspiredgrisele.files.wordpress.com/2017/04/14471782619051-1.jpg?w=634)
Love is a beautiful thing. I love love. I had the notion before getting to the Uni that the first man I will love will be my husband so I prayed that it be so. No it wasn’t the case. I got my heart broken because I never really knew what the world had define a love relationship between a boy and a girl. The world had so fixed the sequence in a way that, once the guy makes his intention known and the lady says yes.. the first few weeks and in a few cases months, then the next big thing is SEX and more sex as long as the relationship last till you get to the next one and the sequence replays itself.
That is not what I was educated to accept and with the love of God shared in my heart that is not the part I was to go. I am supposed to keep my body till marriage and freely surrender to my husband. The more you said no the sex after prolonged kissing trails, you are looked at as mean and not considerate. So what is there to do but pray for a better option that will not hurt you once you say no to SEX. That was how I got into my first long distance relationship.
Now see the logic. My partner will not be physically around so no demands of sex will be made and i won’t have to turn down the demand and end up heart broken. There will be no physical kissing and the likes. Again this is not to say that long distance relationships do not have their own sin packages. Yes sin package as it demands will move from demanding long calls, snoopy lifestyle to nude pictures and skype stripping and more and if those too turned down… you find yourself at the same spot.
The point I want to leave us with is this. Let love be genuine and never compromise your beliefs for temporary pleasures. Also do not settle for a convenient relationship but go for someone that values you and your principles and at the center of your love affair should be God and his ways. It is not about a guy in church as from my experience those are the ones that encourage you to fornicate with your eyes wide open under the umbrella of grace. Grace is not sloppy. Do not use long distance relationships as an escape from pre-marital sex because if you will not have sex physically , I am telling you if your foundation in God is not solid you will have phone sex and every other kind of social media relationship perversion.
Go for a relationship that adds to you and not one which subtracts from you. Loving God in this age and time is not easy both for young Christian gents and ladies but I am more thankful that we have the Holy Ghost and with Him we can run through a troop and leap over walls.
What is your take on long distance relationships?
inspired Grisele 
Lust comes to be when Love is misunderstood. If church brothers, as you said, are more vulnerable to having premarital sex, what Hope is there for unbelievers?
On several occasions, I have walked into teenagers who are lustfully in a state of romance. To be specific, these are junior high school students. If such perverseness lurks in the hearts of our younger generation, how much more the older ones.
Premarital sex has become a necessity to some, rather than a temptation. They walk into it with the concrete knowledge of their actions. It is no more a taboo, it is gradually becoming a lifestyle. What a perverse generation!
Long distance relationships could curb this problem to certain extents if lust and loneliness doesn’t kick in. With the help of technology, the distance barrier could be broken, but this also has its negative effects like sexting (a modernized way of saying “dirty talks”) , nude video chats, masturbation (which is influenced by loneliness), etc.
The ultimate solution to this emotional quandary lies in true ChristianDom (brotherhood and sisterhood), coupled with the help of the holy spirit as you said. But what about lives yet to be saved, everyday people with shallow religious ideals, atheists, non-Christian spiritualists, etc. How can they overcome this sexual urge to sin?
From a dialectic rationale, I would proffer that we bring up our children (and those yet unborn) in the most spiritual manner, that curtails to God’s word. The behavioral values we incubate are gotten mostly from our childhood, after reaching a certain age, those values are refined, which then becomes a lifestyle. However, not everyone follows this path, people sometimes choose their lifestyles irrespective of how they were brought up. Nonetheless, I still see Hope in a good child-upbringing. The bible and my heart are the only supporting references I have. Proverbs 22:6 says “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.”
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Hi Abby ,you are so right. Premarital sex has truly become a necessity than a temptation and it all begins from the roots. I too beleive that if we grow the upcoming generation from infancy into the ways of the Most High the more hope we have to stop all the perverseness. Thanks for your insightful and delightesome contribution
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I think long distance relationships are what you make of it. I personally don’t mind it as long as there is an end time to the long distance.
but purposely seeking a long distance relationship to avoid sex is interesting.
not in response to your post, and you dont have to answer…but are you looking to marry a man who has also saved themselves or it doesn’t matter?
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thanks Shareen, you are right they are what we make of them and at the mind of everything is purpose. I will love to answer your question but thus far i have not fully understood the question ; do you mean a man who is saved or please kindly explain what you mean by saved themselves. Thanks
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If I read correctly, you don’t engage in premarital sex. I’m asking if it is important to you to marry a man that isn’t engaging in premarital sex as well or you only have that standard for yourself?
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Oh i will love to marry a man that isnt engaging, who will prefer to wait until we be married and then we can both savor the experience
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💪powerful thought there
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Thanks Deshi. So what is your take on long distance relationships and the notion of it being an escape route from pre-marital sex?
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My notion… Truth is a long distance relationship may be a getaway from the pressure of sex but it undoubtedly has its own vices and cons…. Being principled is the key whatever the distance between the relationship
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Interesting. So what happens when you guys comes together? No temptation?
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Maybe when we come together will be when all marriage rights are in place and we do the right things and begin enjoying our rights. But there is not guarantee so it is good to get perspective rights and receive grace to stand throw temptations and not seek out convenience which can still make us fall into temptation
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My thoughts are that long distance relationships are good as long as both partners are ok with it. There is always a problem when one party is cool with it and the other is just managing the process.
I don’t think long distance relationship is a cure to preventing premarital sex because if you date/’court’ long enough, you would periodically visit each other… And if the mind is corrupt at a ‘distance’… It would be corrupt ‘up close and personal’…
And i don’t think its a healthy relationship if you have to run away from the person… These are just my thoughts though.
I always thought my first relationship would be my only relationship too, but it turned out different. But i still love love and believe in love… And i am praying they keep themselves too… But nonetheless though…
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This is strong”And if the mind is corrupt at a ‘distance’… It would be corrupt ‘up close and personal
It is about priorities and not using people for our convenience
Thank you for such enriching remarks
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